Friday, June 19, 2015

Men Have It Easy With Logical and Clear Thoughts

Men versus women.  Writing as if you're in their head isn't easy, because you only have one type of experience in your own head.  For me, it's from the woman's standpoint.'s not so easy to think like them, because they're SO literal, logical, and straightforward to me.

I was writing part of my latest work-in-progress (WIP), where a male lawyer has to address a class describing his typical day.  I had to think like a man and write like a man.  Not easy.  But having a husband and a grown son, I've been studying their habits--how they talk, how they think, how they live.

Easy way to think like a man if you're a woman:

  • Sentences are short and to the point.  There's no 'clarifier' after the end of the sentence.  Women clarify their sentences, to make themselves seem less nasty.  For example, a woman would say, 'He's confrontational, right?'  That 'right' softens the blow.  But men would say 'He's confrontational.'  Period.  Nothing softening the blow there.  AND they get away with it without being nasty.
  • Thought processes--literal and logical.  Women's brains are all over the place.  They're multitasking, doubting themselves, and really worried what everyone else thinks about their decisions.  Men--a straight line in their thinking.  They don't doubt their decisions, but are focused on the goals and not worrying about how to get there.  See this link for a visual aid.
  • One thought at a time, and it's usually carefree.  At least that's what I've observed.  Here's an article that describes a carefree discussion between men:  It's hilarious!  What if the people in the chairs were women, though?  They'd all feel sorry for the tourists they're duping and one of them would start a fight about how it's not right, yada, yada, yada.
  • No room for emotion.  Their brain thinks from point A to point B.  They don't deviate.  It's all in one straight line.
  • Others should fix their own problems.  It's not the job for a man to fix things for others unless asked.
  • Doesn't do anything without being asked first.  This actually isn't a bad thing, because they don't step on others' toes.
  • Able to compartmentalize.  Think  of it this way.  Men seem to have these boxes in their heads where they store topics (see this post and you'll understand).  They open one box at a time and only dwell on that box.  The rest can stay shut.
Women's brains:
  • All over the place in their thoughts.
  • Emotional and filled with worry.
  • All topics seem to be thought of at the same time.
  • Nothing is carefree in thought, or the woman is thought to be a ditzy blonde or something.
  • Doubt, big time.  Sentences end with clarifiers like 'right' and 'isn't that so' just to soften their thoughts.  They don't want to come across as nasty or confident, or they will be thought of badly.
  • Fixers.  They want to fix all problems presented to them.  Since they're nurturers by definition with a woman's instinct, they want the world to be nice-nice for everyone.
  • Steps in and does jobs without being asked, because they have to pick up the slack for everyone.
  • Sentences are long and wordy, and much of the time, contradictory.  Example:  "I want to go to the store but if I go to the store then I'll have too much to do here, feeling guilty for not doing my work first.  So I'll stay home.'  Very doubtful in their own capabilities.
In writing men versus women, there should be a difference in how they talk and behave.  Short logical sentences for men, bordering-on-crazy thought processes for women (and yes, I have two daughters, too, so trust works).

I'm not saying any of this in a bad or a good light, but just what I've observed.  There are pluses and minuses to each of the way the genders think.  But I suspect, if I could choose, I'd rather have a man's brain.  I'm tired of my thoughts not being linear and logical and way too emotionally charged (can you tell my kids are all home this summer?).  LOL!

Have a great week!

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