Monday, November 6, 2017

Writing Internal Thoughts

I've seen many ways to write internal thoughts, but find that it's actually least intrusive when just making it part of the story.

Here's an example:

He was going to die, Jane thought.  While watching the car careen out of control in front of her, she could only pray.
He was going to die.  While watching the car careen out of control in front of her, she could only pray.
He was going to die. While watching the car careen out of control in front of her, she could only pray.
Which one takes you out of the story the least?  I'd say the third one.

To back myself up, check out these links:

Dealing With A Character’s Internal Thoughts
How to write Thoughts of a Character

Personally, I don't like seeing 'he thought' in a sentence.  We're reading it from the character's point of view, so why put it in there. 

What do you think?

Have a great week!
Markee


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